Life does not always go as planned, and mine is no different. Raising three kids with autism — Gavin, who is now 23, Elliott, 17, and Emmett, 15 – as a single dad, was never part of the plan and yet here we are. To say that my life has been a rollercoaster of unpredictability, and a challenge that has had me teetering on the edge of burnout more times than I can count, would be the understatement of the century. But here is the thing — if given the chance, I would do it all again. I would do it all again in a heartbeat.
Their unique way of engaging with the world has shown me how to see things in a whole new light, while genuinely appreciating the nuance of every experience. They have taught me to slow down and see the beauty in the little things that so many others never even notice. From laughter over the same YouTube video, they have watched a million times, to celebrating every victory, no matter how big or small, each of these moments have filled my life with memories that I deeply treasure.
One of the most important lessons I have learned along the way is that my children have limitless potential. Their capacity to love, show compassion, create, and challenge my preconceived notions is nothing short of awe-inspiring. Their determination to overcome life’s challenges, and their resilience in the face of adversity, have redefined my understanding of success.
Going through this journey sometimes feels like being adrift at sea. There are times when the waves of stress, emotion, and unimaginable levels of exhaustion have nearly pulled me under. But resilience is born from adversity, and survival is fueled by self-care. Remembering to focus on my own mental and physical well-being, allowing myself grace for my many mistakes, recognizing my very human limitations, asking for help when needed, and finding pockets of ‘me-time’ have been crucial in not only helping me stay afloat but also learn to swim.
Life does get better, but better is subjective. It is not necessarily a life free of challenges but rather a life where we learn to adapt, find creative solutions, appreciate, and find joy in every victory along the way. Better may be different for everyone but if we remain open-minded as to what better can be, it is easier to find.
To every parent out there navigating the often-turbulent waters of raising children with additional needs, remember you are not alone. Let your children teach you, guide you, and inspire you, just as you do for them. Embrace the lessons, cherish the moments, and know that your strength, love, and resilience shape their world. Your better is coming, even if it looks different than what you might have imagined. So, be kind to yourself. Keep pushing forward, seeking support when needed, and always hold onto hope. Remember that you are human and allow yourself grace. None of us are perfect parents, least of all me. We are, however, the perfect person to parent our kids.
Rob Gorski, based in Northeast Ohio, is the renowned blogger and podcast host behind “The Autism Dad.” As a father of three autistic children, he has been a go-to resource for parents across the globe raising autistic kids since 2010. Recognized by major outlets like CNN, ABC News, and BBC Worldwide, and honored with numerous awards, Rob’s voice resonates deeply within the global autism community, theautismdad.com
