For adults and children with sensory sensitivities, parties can be a minefield of dysregulating stimuli. Games, crowds, noise, lights and sky-high expectations can easily turn a fun day into an immensely stressful situation.
Planning a sensory-inclusive event can feel daunting, but a few steps go a long way in making your party more inviting. When in doubt, simply remember the who, what, when, where — and most important, the why — of planning.
WHO
The first, best step in creating a sensory-inclusive event is open communication. A simple text or call explaining your plans and asking what you can do to make it as comfortable as possible helps guests and parents set expectations and know that their experience and enjoyment matters.
“It is important to broach the topic with understanding and respect,” says Allison Pluskota, MOT, OTR/L, an occupational therapist with Sendero Therapies. “You are asking in order to provide support, so be open and avoid judgment.”
This communication is especially critical for children’s parties, where guests may not be able to articulate their needs.
“Always consult with the parents of all children planning to attend,” says Pluskota. “Additionally, depending on the child’s age, the child themselves can even be consulted and included in the planning process. This allows for the child to feel included and addresses their sensory needs, as well.”
WHAT
Flexible schedules and activities are great for sensory-sensitive guests. Pluskota recommends “offering multiple activities that can cater to different levels of sensory preference.”
For younger party goers, this can mean stations for open-ended play like bubbles, a water table, Legos, or a kiddie pool filled with dried corn kernels. Kids can play together or independently with various calming textures. Pluskota cautions against anything smelly, sticky or slimy. You may also think about forgoing the birthday song or opening gifts in front of the group.
Silent disco is an amazing trend, perfect for teens or adults. Companies offer headphone rentals that dancers use to select their own music and volume. Game nights are another hit, with group options like Two Truths and a Lie, Qwirkle, Heads Up, or Cards Against Humanity. Party-specific Mad Libs are easy to make yourself and are fun independently or in a group.
Movie night is perfect for any age and is a great way to utilize big pillows, heavy blankets, and snacks with various textures. Have a set of earplugs on hand and be sure to check with your local library, as many offer rentals for projectors and screens.
Pluskota stresses that options are key. “Again, we are giving our neurodiverse friends control of their environment,” she says.
WHEN
More isn’t always better. For younger groups, consider a shorter party so kids can participate in all activities and head home before it becomes too overstimulating. This isn’t always possible or preferable, so in the case of a longer celebration, consider going the extra step to build in more quiet areas, sensory supports and breaks.
WHERE
When scouting locations, consider the sensory environment. Find out if the staff is trained to be supportive of guests with sensory needs. Consider renting pavilions at metro parks or playgrounds, or opt for a backyard celebration.
“Some common pitfalls include holding an event in an over-stimulating environment with loud noises, or flashing or bright lights,” says Pluskota, “or ignoring the need for sensory breaks.”
These breaks provide guests with a small escape and can be as simple as access to the outdoors or the ability to go for a walk, a photo wall or albums away from the center of activity, or a space for quiet two-person games. For kids, a small pillow fort stocked with weighted blankets and fidgets, or a craft table with crayons or sensory-friendly toys provide a calming place to regulate.
WHY
Let go of the prescriptive image of what parties are supposed to be. At the end of the day, parties are a wonderful way to gather with your loved ones and let them know they are an important part of your life. The goal is to create a meaningful experience, not recreate what’s always been done before.
